Ummm ...

So Oprah interrogates James Frey.

He sips water, slowly. Or so the Times reports.

He let her down. She apologizes to her loyal Book Club fans.

He sips water, slowly.

Fancy, national book critics say truth is important.

Of course it is.

But honestly, why all the hoopla? Leave the guy be. It's not his fault that he can write.

Just like Emeril turned couch-potatoes into masters of au gratin, perhaps Mr. Frey has encouraged a few to actually read.

Oskar-isms

If the old adage is true, then I'm brilliantly fortunate to be tied to my slobbering chocolate lab.

Usually mellow, sometimes deliriously happy and always exuberantly inquisitive -- his days are filled with a magical slow-ness that, I suspect, must lead to hourly epiphanies.

A few slivers:

1. Anything can be a toy -- including aluminum foil and athletic socks.
2. If all else fails, bark loudly.
3. Adding little, black bows to your attire works miracles with the ladies.
4. When in doubt, help out. A little white paint only adds sparkle to your appearance.
5. Hog the couch -- it's generally worth it.
6. Make sure you have a comfy bed.
7. If not -- it's OK to share with others.
8. Act super-excited for everyone that walks through the door.
9. Even if they've only been gone one minute.
10. Little luxuries are worth it -- especially if they're smoked.

On the menu: Casa Bianca.

Intoxication

• If you've never worked with primer before, consider applying two coats.
• Allowing kitchen doors to dry alongside billowing grasses and dog hair is less than ideal -- especially if the dog-as-culprit takes gingerly steps *not* to avoid the fresh coats.
• Life without a kitchen provides refreshing perspective.
• For example: it's possible to make a smoked turkey toasted bagel sandwich without using an actual utensil.
• Pacifico is by far the most drinkable beer.
• But red wine goes down easier.
• Grizzly bears were not meant to befriend man.
• Evidently, foxes were.

On the menu: Whole Foods miniature delights en masse.

Luxury

I think brands run the world. Or at least remind us -- far from gently -- that if Susie Q is wearing Sevens then Daisy O should reconsider her affinity for the Gap.

Fine.

But ponder this: desert islands and music selections aside, what if you had to choose one item, one thing, one subjectively miniature delight -- and toss the rest?

Think it through.

Tricky, isn't it?

I'll go first: fancy hair salons. Can't live without them. And yes, I'd trade a Saturday morning pampering session for my Prada bag any day.

Treo, anyone?

2006-Snippets-to-Date

• An over-abundance of flashlights is an oxymoron.
• Rx for perfect sleep: turn the heater off and wear chenille socks.
• Adding fresh oregano and thyme to rising pizza dough is brilliant.
• Best time to shop at Costco: 930am.
• Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
• Taking home-improvement measurements is tricky.
• If a geographic location could talk, Lake Tahoe would gently whisper: "Live. Breathe. Love. Be. Here."
• The universe sometimes sends you literal ducks in a row.
• Sunday morning scrambled eggs and buttery toast are impossible to beat.

On the menu: broccoli pasta with basil-infused olive oil and red pepper flakes.